So just shy of a calendar year, I’ll be heading back to the mainland.
I never thought I’d do this, to be honest. The air is warm, it’s a comfortable life going between my job and apartment, and not very much changes day to day. I could spend an eternity here doing nothing particularly important and just living.

But that’s the problem; I’m not really doing anything down here. I have seen a much, much wider world than these islands will ever offer, both in experiences and in ways to live. There are some things unique to here, of course, like the people and some of the leisure activities, but these are not things I wish to build my life around.

I want to be in a place where I can do something more meaningful than spending a day drunk on the beach. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that once in a while, but like eating a favorite food every day it loses its charm in time.

So with that said, what do I want to do instead? Why, something I’ve shied away from at several different points in my life: performance. I’ve taken some preliminary steps in that direction with the few recordings I’ve done on the island, but I am not content with making a comfortable living that will stay within the islands.

I’m going to try something uncomfortable for a change; namely, standing in front of a group of strangers and telling jokes which they’ll hopefully laugh at. I’ve done this once before (last year in fact,) but I let my unacknowledged stage fright push me away from ever returning despite the audience genuinely laughing at my jokes. Despite feeling dejected for doing so, I stayed away from something I enjoyed doing because I was afraid I’d mess it up. Without realizing it, I stuck with the comfortable, unfulfilling life offstage I had created for myself, rather than the uncomfortable moments on stage when I felt kind of happy.

So soon, I’m weighing anchor and sailing away from the islands. One literally (though replace sailing with flying, I can’t afford to book a cruise ship cabin to Miami), and one metaphorically as it’s an island of the soul.

Wish me luck; I’m sure there’s some rough waters out there, but I’ll finnegal a way through.